Christmas My absolute favourite time of the year Except this year has been different This year I have developed a soul destroying, physically destroying illness which has controlled my mind My vision of today was that it would be magical, happy, festive and fun In replacement it felt lonely, boring and I felt huge Everything… Continue reading 25/12/16
No matter what problem No matter how big or small I’m not good enough, or pretty enough, or interesting enough to talk to Even though I’m struggling more than possibly ever before Even though I’m still not doing what I’m meant to be Yet because it’s not ‘visible‘ no one asks No one realises how… Continue reading Never good enough
Anything From someone walking down the road to my sister in her skinny jeans From someone I see not eating lunch to Kim kardashians 70lb weight loss From seeing people at the gym to thinspo accounts, I need to be that thin Anything & everything triggers me, no matter how big or small I’m in… Continue reading Triggers
A quote that is so very close to my heart But the truth is, right now I am not strong, I’m more vulnerable if anything. I’m not strong enough to stop the self destruction that is happening to my body – inside and out. I’m not strong enough to eat and it care about what’s… Continue reading ‘Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think’
There are many things that need to change in this world, I have only picked out a few – relating to the society I have grown up in. The society I have grown up in hopefully won’t be the society of tomorrow Hopefully the world will have changed in the next 10 or so years… Continue reading a letter to my future children – society
the person I have left the history the person who used to be able to tell me about my nan the person who would cheer me up – not even realising she was the person who could remember things from her childhood as though they were yesterday the person who looked after my mum in… Continue reading my life feels like an ongoing nightmare
I don’t think anyone realises just how much this takes over my mind how one minute I can be okay & then I see my reflection or then I see someone going to the gym or I’m triggered by friends not one minute of my day is spent concentrating on the actual day, the actual… Continue reading Battles everyday
All those fun, hilarious memories all those times I could have gone out all those opportunities And yet this took over me the fun was drained from the party the happiness drained from my face I wish I didn’t worry so much obsessively about this All those ruined memories
I wish to be young again to be 3 or so years old where I had my closest friend to me where it was a painful few years but we got through it due to our crazily close friendship. to have her back would be my biggest wish to be able to talk to her… Continue reading What I wish for
having another person inside you telling you you look ugly, you look fat, you’re bigger than her, you need to exercise more tonight, you can’t go out you’re too fat, you can’t meet new people, you’re too fat, not being able to leave the house for fear of… Continue reading voices
Endlessly exploring 