‘Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think’

A quote that is so very close to my heart
But the truth is, right now I am not strong, I’m more vulnerable if anything.

I’m not strong enough to stop the self destruction that is happening to my body – inside and out.

I’m not strong enough to eat and it care about what’s going in my mouth

I’m not strong enough to resist from exercising straight after a meal
I’m not strong enough to push through

Now I’m at my lowest weight I don’t want to stop

I want to be so skinny that people can actually see something isn’t right

I need to prove them that I wasn’t being an attention seeker

But that I have struggled with this eating disorder for over three years now.
I’m not strong enough to ‘get better’ because all I want to do is get worse 
I’m sorry nana, but I’m not strong enough for this, it’s too powerful 

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